The Last Life !

And I have lost all hopes, I was crazy for you , I was so much dependent on you. Everything I did I was willing to ask you that whether I was doing it right or not . Yes, I was in love with you  . I never express my feelings to people and we should not. I kept it to myself, I was disturbed and this loneliness led me to depression .

Then I found  me , I had lost myself when I was with you . I was never the same but I could not find myself till now because of our separation. I expressed my feelings in words and then writing became my passion. I started my own blog. You don’t have to wait for the right time but stand up and learn from your past . A lover , who loved his girlfriend so much that he didn’t wanted to listen what were the wrong things . You were my life, but our love ended .

I started pursuing engineering , came away from home just to realize after a while that this was not my cup of tea . When I opened books, all equations was going over my head and much to this when I tried hard to study the questions appeared to be as bouncer . And then finally smoking weed and a bottle of whiskey became my best friends. But there was a hope in my loved ones that I could be a good engineer . I tried to explain them that this is not I wanted to do but what to say , they are always right . I took , but this time they were wrong .

Exploring new places, travelling to new cities , talking to new people and having a cup of tea with those strangers made my day . How they spent their lives, and their experiences in life , and moreover writing was my passion . In city of Dehradun you will not find what was in Delhi . This place is quiet, people are more frank and they do have time to look after their loved ones . Every village here has some specialty, in 3 out of 10 houses there is a plant of weed which is different from other places in Dehradun . People are happy in what they have . It is a small town where you’ll not find clubs , bars and Porsche societies and if they exist they are very few .

I have seen my own friends having passion for machines, computers and I stand nowhere . But still my loved one have hope that I will be a good engineer . There is not a single reason doing your work without passion ! I love to write and travel but they say its useless . I am going mad .

I wish she was here , she understood me when no one did . She had confidence in me because she had confidence in herself more . Our love story ended , And I cried when she died .