How I wish you could live a lifetime with me. (PART II)

You know what is the most important part I love in our relationship?
What? I asked (soft tone)You are a very nice guy, when you came to know about what I was suffering from you didn’t lost hope and gave me strength and everyday your love for me expanded like I am special to you.
But the best thing about you I like is you didn’t get carry away or lost your way related career of yours. I know you don’t like engineering and stuff but you are still doing it just because of your mom and side by side you are chilling with what you love like traveling and keeping up with your blog.

And the thing which makes me fall for you every minute is you are really a nice guy when it comes to handling or giving values to relationships.
I on the other side doesn’t know how to handle but with you I’m learning and I don’t want to stop and.. (Stops suddenly and holds her breath)

YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME, and you know it better than I do.
I said holding her hands.

I don’t, she said.
Okay but you did teach me a lot of things.
What? She said
The kiss, I mean I had been with my ex-girlfriend’s but you were really great, I mean you are.

What about sex?  She said
Yeah but it was the first time with you that’s why it was way too fast, now I’m experienced. And by the way how can you forget the one in your hostel room and at your home which made us caught nearly.

Yeah, out of all the time I loved these two.
Nah, your brother marriage. Remember? Haha    I said.
How could I? Okay that’ll be on top priority then these two and then the other times. She said

We really were those crazy and now 3 years of our relationship and this shit happened.
I’m sorry, you told me every time but I didn’t listen and now I don’t want to leave you.   She said.

Hey, don’t cry. You were great at handling and see yourself from past 3 years. You have changed and that too because you wanted to. You are a great girlfriend anyone can ever have.

What do the doctors say?
They’re saying you’re having a speedy recovery and you’ll be home in a week, I said.
I hate when you lie to me, she said.
Okay, 15 days but not a day more, I said.
*A tear rolled from her eyes.* 

18/01/2015
How I wish I could say that you will live for more than 15 days or more or forever. Little did I know you were just there for few hours and I unknowingly went to get the chocolate cake and only realized coming back that you were gone. You knew, and then also you forced me to get the chocolate cake to celebrate 3 years of our relationship which was just two days after.

I am an idiot; I couldn’t spend last hours with you. You made me go because you knew what doctors said.


You matured through all these years and I didn’t even realize that our love was eternal.
I didn’t even cry when you were gone because I knew that you will be gone but that early I didn’t expect. The time spent with you changed into moments, moments which I cannot forget.


But every fortnight I make sure to visit you to your grave and spend some lone time along with bringing a red rose so that you know you were dating a gentleman.
(Gurgaon is way too far to visit you every fortnight)


And how I wish I could get a last kiss from you .. .. .. .. ..

How I wish you could live a lifetime with me. (PART I)

It should never have happened.
It’s not like we should have not dated, but you should have never left me.
How could you? Yeah every night I ask myself but people say everything happens for good
Our break up was never a good thing. I see how happy your mother was when you were with me always, you laughed, and you lived every moment when you spent time with me.
Being into drug addiction was really tough, haan? I could see you struggling every day but wish I could lessen your pain seeing you lie in bed .It made me feel petrified.
Every second passes and the fear of losing you made me drop in my knees.

25^th September 2011
I still remember how I was enjoying college, alcohol, weed, cigarette like I was the happiest person but straight in the second lecture you joined my classroom.
‘Late admission, the teacher said’.
Yes you were hot and every guy had a crush on you, that included me too.
I still remember how you never bonded that too with girls than you did with guys!
(WELL I HATED THEM BECAUSE YOU WERE MINE, yeah hypothetically I assumed that)
But who could say from your eyes and your pretty face that you were one of the drug addicts in our college. Any type of drug, you just needed it like a candy in a child’s mouth.

07^th December 2011
Well time conceded and I missed every chance of talking to you but hey thanks to end semester examinations we talked. Well actually you did and I being your lover agreed on the term to show my answer sheet to you and you passed. Well 2.4/4.0 is not that bad!

Hey, if it had not been you I would have failed.  She said
Oh, i.. it… its….. plea pleasure(stammering) .  I replied
Are you fine? She said laughingly
Well I am . I replied (see that’s what happens when a girl you have a crush on pats your back and you talk to her for the first time)

Come lets go & eat maggi. She said
Okay. ( I had to say yes)

Umm..  Is that weed?  
Yes , you want to try ? She said
Don’t mind if I do .

8^th December 2011
Last day of college and vacations were going to start and not to see her for whole 1 month made me sad.
Little did I know that she was also from Delhi but did her schooling from The Lawrence, Sanawar.
Stayed away from home and loved to be independent.Last day, I’m so going to miss college. Hey where you from?
(I couldn’t resist the charm in her eyes and forgot she was actually talking to me) Oh me, Delhi too.
Idiot, then can I join you in the Volvo with your friends because I don’t like to travel alone.   
Why not! (Yes my love, you’re welcome. I’ll book the entire Volvo for us)
Okay, I’ll come to your hostel at 11pm, be ready, she said. SAME DAY, 11:18 P.M
(I stood in front of the hostel gate as soon as clock stuck 10:50 at night)
hey, you got the taxi. (I said, shivering in cold)
Come inside you idiot it’s cold.
Sorry I’m late and where are you friends?  She asked
Umm.., they… lee.. left Oh yes they left. (Stammering again)  
*you have your crush by your side and you’re going to spend next 6.5 hours with her and the first thing you do is cancel on your friends who also have crush same as you*
PRESENT DAY, as we kept on talking. (18/01/2014)
That’s how we were on our first little small date where I got the chocolates you loved, and also didn’t forget to bring an extra lot stuff of hash you were going to miss of Dehradun.
Oh you were a complete idiot, she said.
Hey, still? I am not.  I said offend idly
You remember every bit of our relationship from the time we didn’t started our relationship. And I’m happy that like other couples we didn’t hit a rocky edge.   She said in a deep voice
Neither we will love, holding her hand.You know what is the most important part I love in our relationship?  (continued in part II)

Life is Freedom, Freedom is Life'

Reason why I am single ?
Yeah I thought about it for quite some time . Then i buggered my friends, thinking maybe they knew me better than myself. Surprisingly even Disha didn't.
(Disha is my good friend cum mentor)
She told me she had no effing idea. Then it hit me, why the hell would she? When i finally sat down in front of this blank screen, the answer came to me :

1. KARMA is a bitch.
    Whatever bad I did in my past relationships this was karma biting me in the ass and shoving off the dirt up my hole. Call me naive, jerk or a classified asshole, I've had my share of hurting people, double dating, and basically an amalgam of stuff you're not supposed to do. Name it, I've done it .

2. EGO plays an important role.
    I mostly don't talk to people (except closed ones which includes my Mom, Sis, and few friends)
because I don't need to . If someone talks to me or asks for any kind of help I do whatever I can. But I'm not the one to walk up and talk to people. Even if I like a girl, which happens for about 4-5 times a week, I sit there on my shy ass waiting for the sun to come out of my pants .

3. I LOVE MYSELF MORE, MUCH MORE.
    Most of you have read somewhere or watched in movies, but on an honest note, it's the quality of every Piscean that they love themselves and they can barely manage to spare some time for some special people in their life . I'm on a worst pedestal. I just can't do it. So this is where i get awkward.

Have you ever left your girlfriend in a shopping complex where she is wasting time selecting what will suit her or not . Girl you have such a sexy body, throw on anything .Why to think ?
We were in a relationship of nearly a year but as soon as she got inside to try out the dress she selected I vanished. Yeah because I didn't want to listen from her one more time that 'even this is not good' and then i have to wait for another hour or long .  I left and was not in a mood to pick her phone because my first priority is BUTTER CHICKEN .
I got to know in the evening only that she had called her father to pick her up.

These are very useless things but there are even more which i couldn't discuss here .
What kinda girl I love ?If you call single day, seven day or thirty day long flings as relationships, then yeah, I have been into many. But every time I bump into a cheesy, extra possessive girl with a lot of commitments seasoned with jealousy, I just storm off through the door.
At 3 in the morning I just cannot make her feel good because she had a fight with her best friend or I cannot please her because we had a fight in the midnight , or she just randomly calls to disturb my sleep and say 'I am not able to sleep' nor I can say 'iloveyoutoo' to someone whom I have just met a month ago.
Mostly my break up have just 3 reasons or there would be more if I don't cut the phone call which pisses me off . Here's what I listen to, the sound of break up :

1. You don’t give time to me

2. You don’t give time to this relationship

3. I don’t see any future of our relationship 

We don’t have much pictures together, we don’t walk like others (here they means walk holding each other hands), we don’t talk the whole night, when you’re with me at any restaurant you just eat food and never look up to talk to me . 
Can you explain to me : Are photographs the reason behind love?
I cannot talk the whole night because college life is so hectic , then there’s  gym, followed by dinner and finally, sleep .
If I am feeding my stomach then I do not even care about my parents so I hope you can  now understand.

Next time you tell them that why you broke up with me then tell them the good reasons that are true.
I know they’ll take your side (because mostly people are dumb in love , as I have heard it from somewhere or even if your single male friends listen they’ll bitch just because they can see your and their future together :P )

But bro, what’s with the 3^rd point?
A future?
We’re just 20 and haven’t  finished our studies, a career is left and you have decided our kids’ name (though you’ll disagree because fuck off).
I hate these type of sentences in my life .
Why I always bump into extra possessive girls?
And GOD says, everything happens for a reason and there is always a good cause.  Ah! Maybe that is why I am single.

Now here is what I love :
I like independent girls though I am not much independent but partially I am . I depend on my MOM for my pocket money and extra bucks for the diesel of the car .
If we are in a relationship please don’t flaunt it.
If ‘we’ are , people will see .
Photographs should not define ‘US’
Sitting in a movie hall pisses me (exception are there if we are watching fiction or racing movies), rather go out on a long drive on a bike or a car or play paint ball .
(I remember playing counter strike with one of my girlfriend and it took me about hour and a half to teach her how to play it. Every time she just bumped in and killed me and at last I had to put friendly fire off but I quit the game . How can they have problem when we don’t have problem in putting on clothes to nude models in the game? (I used to do it when I was very small , 6^th or 7^th grade . :P)
If we are in bed , I just want to be in bed and not somewhere b/w playing myself just because my girlfriend phone rang up and she’s busy telling her mom that she’ll be late today or giving a call to her friend that I and my boyfriend are at his place .
If we are in bed I just want to enjoy that very moment .
If we’re out and if I am tired of driving my girlfriend should be able to drive. (though i don't trust women drivers)
I believe in GOD and I believe in miracles . 
Else I can be in a bar enjoying some trance and having a drink in my hand and busy with my laptop and writing stuff about my life or giving advices to people or whatever they want from me .
I can travel alone, I don’t need anybody’s company.

BUT I STILL BELIEVE IN GOD AND HIS MIRACLES.